You might have heard the words “Growth Mindset” in the past because it is an integral part of a long-lasting marriage. However, it is also applicable for young women who were trying to become successful or just getting married then this topic is for you.
If you were wondering what this “Growth Mindset” is all about, it came from a famous psychologist named Carol Dweck. Now, if you were also wondering of what growth mindset means, then it is exactly what it sounds. It is the tendency to believe in yourself that you can grow. Just like what is written in her book, mindset basically explains why a fixed mindset is a character, intelligence, and creative ability are the assets that we cannot change in any way.
Just like you are always saying “I am not good in this and that” it is something that you are conditioned to think and you are acting on that which is basically not true. If you believe that people can’t do things or are either born more skilled at it or not, then that is the fixed mindset. This person believes that the way we do and cannot do things is limited. This is where the growth mindset will come to the rescue because it challenges the old mindset into a whole new dimension.
Let us tackle this further, so how can growth mindset REALLY help you, especially if you believe or have always been taught that your innate qualities/skills are carved in stone? I mean you have proved to yourself over and over that because you have a certain amount of intelligence, personality or moral character that that is who and how you are. Right? Not really.
Having such fixed mindset can NEGATIVELY IMPACT all of the aspects of your life. Carol Dweck even goes on to say that she had seen a lot of people who have this goal of proving themselves to parents, society, and etc. Every situation calls for confirmation of their intelligence, personality, or character that’s why every situation is evaluated. Yet, the growth mindset is based on the belief that is your basic qualities can be cultivated with your efforts. All of the people may differ in terms of their talents, attitudes, interests, temperaments, but everyone can change when it comes to application and experience can be really life-changing.
All these things will help you understand how POWERFUL you are and will help you realize that you are in control more than you realize. Sometimes you just condition yourself that you are stuck in whatever you are, but once you understood this your life can totally change for the better, insh’Allah.
Today, I will give you a top 10 comprehensive list of how you can get this mindset.
Side note: For those looking, this will help you better identify a potential spouse and better chances at a more powerful marriage.
· Embrace your imperfections – think of your weak points and acknowledge them because once you get to know them you can start to understand where to begin and how to start because when you start avoiding things and the things that we feel bad about things will just get worse hence just start realizing what they are so that you can address them.
· View challenges as opportunities – this is very important because having a growth mindset is relishing for self-improvement. You see whenever you view a challenge in front of you, and you might think that you will never get around it, but instead you will say that I still haven’t gotten around that only because I haven’t figured out the best way to solve that certain problem. Having this type of attitude will change your entire perspective on problem-solving.
Many multi-million-dollar companies that we are all aware of like Facebook, Amazon, Google, Apple, etc., have achieved what they have because of having and training their employees on this growth mindset. In fact, having such a mindset is the primary reason why I rarely get stuck on any certain problem.
· Try different learning tactics – something that worked for one person may not work for you, and that’s totally fine. That is why you must open your mind because there are multiple ways to do different things.
· Follow the research on brain plasticity – it is the way that thinking can actually change your health. This is actually true, just search it on Google. Type the keywords “neuro mapping”. You will be blown away by the research. It not only proves that the brain is NOT fixed, but it shows that we can phsyically change by just using our mind and reshaping our thinking.
· Replace the word “failing” with the word “learning” – using the term “failing” means that you are in a permanent failure and your chances are over. On the other hand, if you are “learning”, then you are in the middle of doing, so if you made a mistake or you fell short on a goal then you haven’t failed, but you learned.
· Stop seeking approval – when you prioritize approval over learning then you are compromising your growth. It is true that you cannot please everybody.
· Value the process over the end result – this is also awesome for parenting because if you are involved in any project and you are constantly worried about the end result. So basically, intelligent people enjoy the learning process itself and do not mind if they go beyond the expected timeframe.
We might give goals to our self just
like you must accomplish it in a month or so, and I have learned to embrace the
process and challenge that’s where you will grow.
· Cultivate a sense of purpose – people with a growth mindset have a greater sense of purpose keeping a bigger picture in mind. Just like me, I am fond of sharing my personal experiences in life to help women that do not have a great deal of experience in a particular area. You can do the same, and actually find your own calling. Start to think about what you are passionate about and find your own sense of purpose.
· Provide regular opportunities for reflection – this is immense, in our religion we are actually required to reflect. We reflect several times a day by praying and reading the Quran. We are often called to implement what we have read. Even the sahaba memorized the Quran tremendously, but what they are doing is they took just ten lines at a time. They would focus on them and extract from them what to implement in their lives.
· Emphasize growth over speed – the truth is growing does not come overnight, just like a seed takes time to grow. It does not happen in a day or a couple of days. Good things take time. Unfortunately, I to be caught up in a fixed-mindset before. I lost a lot of time and suffered a great deal emotionally. I was chasing things really fast and upset when I didn’t see instant results. In this fast-paced life, we tend to become really hungry and greedy once we are super-fast-paced. I now realize that the world does not work that way and it’s to our benefit.
In summary, attaining these ideals will give you a greater chance at success, mental clarity and purpose. They will also get you miles closer to your goals.
Lastly, if you are looking for a spouse honestly, look for one that has a growth mindset.
Ask them the following questions and see how they answer:
· What do you feel you are good at?
· What do you feel you are not good at and never will be?
· What do you usually do when you are frustrated?
· Do you like challenges? Why or why not?
· How would you feel if your wife was more successful than you?
· What about if your brother was more successful?
· Do you feel that your abilities determine your worth?
How a potential spouse answers these will tell you a great deal about how they view themselves and potential life challenges. It will give you a window into what type of mindset they really have.
Listen to my podcast on the topic here.
