How To Find a Good Muslim Husband
One of the biggest decisions we will make in our life (that will also have the greatest impact) is whom we choose to marry Just as big the decision of choosing is understanding “why” we want to marry. We may think we know, but we also have to consider our unconscious influences i. family, friends, society, social media…
Ask yourself: “What do I want to get married?”
Muslim Marriage is an element of faith, and it is a part of the Prophet Muhammad’s Sunnah. Peace and blessing be upon him.
“I am seeking for someone with whom I will start a family,” you might say. After you have considered “why” you want to marry, you must also consider what type of spouse you are looking for.
Ask yourself: “What do I want in a spouse?”
Again we may be unaware of the underlying culture and societal influences that are shaping our choices. Are you looking for a guy that will please your parents (one with a great degree job or particular background)? Are you looking for a guy who is similar to other couples whom you have seen on Instagram or Tik-Tok, are your favorite Netflix series attractive or are you putting other standards first? Are you making choices based on emotions or are you keeping what Allah SWT and our Prophet PBUH suggest the top of mind?
Abu Hurairah related that the Prophet said: “Men choose women for four reasons: for their money, for their rank, for their beauty, and their religion, but marry one who is religious, and you will succeed” (Bukhari, Muslim). This, of course, also applies to women.
However, it appears that religion is not always at the forefront of many people’s minds. It’s probably the last thing on the minds of many Muslim women when finding a Muslim husband.
Being a doctor or a lawyer is more essential than piety for many Muslim women. And it doesn’t get much better for Muslim men. Many matrimonial adverts in Islamic newspapers, for example, show a critical desire for a bride who is “fair, thin, and lovely.” If we want healthy Muslim households, Deen must come first.
Get Someone To Help
Marriage is not something you are permitted to do on your own. It is your father’s right to be part of this process as your wali. This is not something we decide; yes, you may think you can find a guy on your own, or yes, you may not prefer your father’s way of going about things but this is Allah’s command for a reason. The one who thinks they know better than Allah SWT truly has truly fooled only themselves with their arrogance. May Allah protect us from ourselves If your father is not in your life you have options you can schedule a call with us and we can suggest the next steps: 15-minute call – FREE https://calendly.com/mindfulmuslimah/15-minute-skype-consultation-call Involving others does not imply giving up your right to say yes or no to a marriage proposal. It simply enhances the possibility of learning crucial information about a prospective spouse while adhering to Islamic modesty requirements (i.e., not meeting alone, see next point).
Having your wali or guardian involved also helps you determine whether the person you’re interested in is good, honest, polite, and so much more. Your Wali often examines references, inquires about the individual’s character and conduct, and generally watches out for your best interests.
Because you are looking for a Muslim husband in marriage and want someone conversant with the Islamic manner of doing things, this individual should be a trustworthy Muslim. Just figuring this out yourself is not reliable. Money women fall into this trap and suffer the results. Remember that your wali is your biggest ally and help (other than Allah SWT) in finding the right Muslim husband or wife. They have known you your entire life and have your best interests at heart. Again, if you are struggling to talk to them, we are here and can suggest some helpful tips. Here is the best way to schedule a call with me: FREE https://calendly.com/mindfulmuslimah/15-minute-skype-consultation-call
On the other hand, parents must be open and sensitive to what their children are seeking while never losing sight of the aspect of choice. In the end, their son or daughter will make the final decision. They must never become overly forceful or aggressive, whether the pressure is being given to their son or daughter or the person s/he is interested in. You have a right to choose and may never be forced into a marriage you do not agree to
In this digital age, there is always the opportunity to reach out to an imam or scholar about your questions about your particular situations. since “the unknown” is what keeps us anxious or holds us back, ask questions and put your mind at ease. If you’re looking for more clarity and confidence around the entire process (what to look for in a guy where to find him, how to spot red flags, what questions to ask, how the process works step-by-step) we have in entirely free class where we teach this to woman that you can access here
Make sure your family inquiries about him
This is when your “third party” comes into play. They will not just be able to serve as a reference for you. They can also investigate connections on a potential match. A word on honesty and references: the individuals you question may know something unflattering about your potential spouse. Remind them that revealing this knowledge is not considered backbiting from an Islamic standpoint. In reality, complete information about a person, both good and bad, should be provided when it comes to marriage.
In this regard, the advice of one of the Prophet’s companions, Umar Ibn al-Khattab, might be helpful: A man came to Umar ibn al-Khattab and spoke in praise of another. Umar asked him: “Are you his nearest neighbor such that you know his goings and his comings?” “No.” “Have you been his companion on a journey so that you could see evidence of his good character?” “No.” “Have you had dealings with him involving dinars and dirhams [money] which would indicate the piety of the man?” “No.” “I think you saw him standing in the mosque muttering the Quran and moving his head up and down?” “Yes.” “Go, for you do not know him…” And to the man in question, Umar said, “Go and bring me someone who knows you.” (quoted from Islam The Natural Way by Abdul Wahid Hamid, p. 66)
This provides you three individuals to question about a potential mate’s character: a neighbor, a work colleague, or someone who has traveled with them. Dua! Pray for good character and Allah to give you clarity.
First and foremost, make a sincere and emotional dua to Allah, expressing your desire to marry to cleanse yourself and get the love, support, and care you need in your life. As a result, dua is critical. Remember that Allah says: “…And whoever fears Allah (has taqwa) – He will make for him a way out- And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” (Quran 65: 2-3) Work on your taqwa and purification. When we have taqwa, Allah opens halal and pure provision for us. That’s guaranteed. So do not cross limits, commit sins or acts of disobedience, thinking that this will get you what you want. This is never a means to earn something halal, pure, everlasting, or pleasing to Allah Glorified and Exalted. Renewing your intentions continuously and may Allah give you suppose that is of the coolness of your eyes. For more help email us at mindfulness@mindful-muslimah.com
